San Francisco Attractions
Union Square
Who coined the term “Sugar Daddy”? (Hint: Her last name rhymes with freckles, and you can find the Bronze Goddess of Victory atop a monument in Union Square.)
Crimps, Bowery Hounds, and Sydney Ducks used to roam these streets but they didn’t get to enjoy the Union Square Ice Rink, Neiman Marcus’ Stained Glass Ceiling, the 80 foot Macy’s Christmas tree, or the world’s first underground parking structure. They could SHANGHAI a drunkard, but they couldn’t use the cable car from Fisherman’s Wharf to Ghirardelli Square as their escape!
Not back then, anyway. Now they can. So keep an eye out as you watch the latest at The Post Street Theatre, or gawk at a chandelier in Bacarat.
They’re everywhere. And they’re after us.
Golden Gate Bridge
In January of 1933, The Committee of Vigilance was in fear that The Hounds were planning a series of attacks on San Francisco. The COV decided to collaborate with designers Joseph Strauss, Irving Morrow, and Charles Ellis to find a suitable place to hide the gold on The Golden Gate Bridge. The Golden Gate Bridge, some could say, was erected for the sole purposes of hiding The Gold from The Bowery Hounds.
The Committee of Vigilance will never give up San Francisco’s Gold. You can still find the old hiding spot today under Strauss’ poem: “The Mighty Task Is Done”. ‘There’s A Silver Moon Over The Golden Gate’ was the Committee of Vigilance theme song for ten years until we moved The Gold to a different hiding spot. We are proud to say that nobody has ever been SHANGHAI’D on The Golden Gate Bridge. The 1.7 mile safeguard against evil can never be compromised.
Haight Ashbury
In 1869, Committee of Vigilance Members Munroe Ashbury, and Henry Haight formed the Haight Ashbury as a temporary headquarters for the COV. Before it became The Haight, there was nothing in this part of town but farms and sand dunes.
In 1883, with the completion of the Haight Street Cable Railroad, The COV was able to transport The Gold back and forth from the Market Street, Downtown San Francisco area. Thankfully, The Haight was one of the few areas of town to not be affected by the fires that struck after the Big Quake of 1906.
In the 60′s The Hippie movement began and the headquarters had to be moved to a different, undisclosed location. Although you may enjoy walking through the memories of The Summer of Love by getting lost in the incense and the patchouli oil; WATCH OUT for squatters! Some of them are Bowery Hound informants…
Lombard Street
Although Ripley’s Believe it or Not! has contested that SNAKE ALLEY in Bulington, Iowa is “the crookedest street in the world”- The Committee of Vigilance knows that Lombard Street in San Francisco was coined “crookedest” because of the crooks it used to house.
After it continues through the Russian and Telegraph Hill neighborhoods, Lombard Street breaks off and becomes Telegraph Hill Boulevard which leads us up to Coit Tower. BEWARE. This was once the stomping grounds for The Sydney Ducks and Bowery Hounds.
It was here on the true “crookedest street in the world” that the Hounds would plan their attacks on the innocent men trying to find their fortunes in Gold during the Gold Rush.
Museum of Modern Art
While you’re standing there with your mouth agape at the 1905 Henri Matisse, FEMME AU CHAPEAU, the HOUNDS are still sore at the Committee of Vigilance for pushing them out after the Great Quake of 1906!
So you can wander around getting lost in your Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock, Richard Diebenkorn, Clyfford Still, Paul Klee, Marcel Duchamp and Ansel Adams, but we’re warning you here: THEY ARE TRACKING YOU. Hold on to your purse.
It goes a little like this: you’re enjoying the view from the SF Moma Rooftop Garden, sipping your sparkling wine, and the next thing you know- you’re on a ship out to You-Don’t-Know-Where. At this point, it’s too late. You won’t be able to help us defeat the Bowery Hounds.
Pier 39: Fisherman’s Wharf
You ever run into THE WORLD FAMOUS BUSHMAN? Yeah, he works for them- he’s one of the HOUNDS. You can see him outside Joe’s Crab Shack on Pier 39 in the Fisherman’s Wharf District. He’ll never talk though- he’ll just scare the “beep” out of you and move on. While you’re cleaning up your diaper, he’s reporting all he can to the Head Boss Crimp.
Then, after you lighten your wallet at the shops, restaurants, video arcades, and Bay Aquarium, The Hounds will make their move while your watching the California Sea Lions that have “mysteriously” been hauled out on the docks since 1989. The Hounds want you distracted, you see. At first, just a couple of Sea Lions did the trick. Now, there are hundreds of California Sea Lions for you to drop your jaw at and let your guard down. You’re in the perfect spot– right by the water than BAM! You could be next.
